Emily Grant

I’m Emily, I’m 36, and I was never expecting to have breast cancer. 

I had been an oncology nurse for a decade, and it has been a surreal experience being on “the other side of the bed”. I have had some of my old colleagues looking after me, and that has been wonderful. I have been so thankful to have people I know and trust holding my hand during this!  

Back in February 2023 I found a lump. It was completely by chance, I was not doing a self-check, I was just putting on moisturiser. Initially I dismissed it, with the thought that it would be a cyst. I was 36. That is too young for breast cancer. I had no family history, so it could not be. But over the next 2 weeks, it didn’t go away. I became paranoid as it was getting bigger, and I was checking it multiple times every day. I also had this nagging promise in the back of my mind, that I had made to my best friend, about never being too paranoid to get something checked out. At that time, we had a friend, who was tragically in her last week's having had a delayed diagnosis of bowel cancer. She too was young, only 40 at the time. And it was because of her, we made a promise, that we would not delay getting anything checked, that worried us.  

So after about 2 weeks I dutifully made good on that promise and trotted off to the GP. I started off with the words “I’m probably being paranoid, but…” and luckily, she didn’t dismiss it as being a cyst. She said it was always worth being fully checked, especially because of the size. It was very palpable by this stage, and I was adamant it was bigger than when I found it. I feel incredibly thankful that we had insurance, and I made a mammogram appointment for March. 

My mammogram looked like it was benign, they told me straight away, and I breathed a sigh of relief. But, let’s do an ultrasound to be safe, sure! I love being thorough. The ultrasound showed the lump was vascular. I knew that wasn’t normal, but the radiologist said I they weren’t convinced it was cancer as it didn’t present typically, so let’s do a biopsy. I was booked in the next day. During that, I was told that it really presented like something benign, but “sometimes we get a surprise”. I spent the next week reminding myself of those words saying “it looks benign, what are the chances? I was booked to go back and get my results on Thursday, because even if it was benign it was eligible to be removed due to the size, so I thought nothing of it being an appointment and not a phone call. On the Wednesday, they called me and asked to move the appointment to the Friday as the surgeon had been called to go to theatre. On the Thursday my best friend was beside herself, and asked me to call them to ask for the results as the extra day wait was too long for her. So I called the breast nurse. She told me she had the results, but she couldn’t give them to me over the phone; they were better to discuss in person. She then asked me if I was bringing someone with me. I wasn’t. My husband was going to be looking after our two little girls at home, as I had been reassured it looked benign, so I thought he didn’t need to come. But, as soon as she said those two things to me, I knew it wasn’t good news. I know those code phrases, I’d had to use similar things myself as an oncology nurse. But, I didn’t tell my husband. I said I would like him to come, and my best friend offered to look after our girls.  

The next day we walked in, there was the surgeon, and a nurse in the room. I’d been that nurse on so many occasions, you never have a nurse in there as well if it’s benign. But I was still telling myself it wouldn’t be cancer. Until the surgeon told me it was. We then had to go home for the weekend and wait for 2 days for things to kick off on Monday. We spent the weekend with our best friends, distracting ourselves as best we all could. However, on Sunday evening, our friend lost her battle with bowel cancer. The timing seemed cruel. But it was her legacy that made me get checked and not dismiss it. I was going to fight this.  

I was incredibly lucky to start chemo 12 days after diagnosis. And even luckier to be looked after by two of my best old colleagues. They were a god send. It did make it seem more surreal, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  

I finished 5 months of chemo back in August 2023. I had surgery in September, followed by 4 weeks of radiotherapy plus a boost in October, and then 6 months of oral chemo began in December. It’s now July 2024, and I have just “finished”. I’m looking forward to having a bit of normality back again, and my hair!  

My advice to anyone would be to never be too paranoid to get something checked. You’ll never regret being fully informed. If it hadn’t been for the promise I made, I probably wouldn’t have gone to my GP, then that would have resulted in something more life changing than it already was.  

I have been so lucky to have my husband, my rock, supporting me in ways I didn’t know possible. My best friends, who have been like family, are with me every step of the way. I’m going to beat this. For my girls, my husband, my friends, my family. For myself. Let’s kick it